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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Messy, Unruly, Chaotic Life

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After working at the NC Lawyer Assistance Program (LAP) for the past 5 years, I can say with confidence that most of what we see clinically is lawyers’ and judges’ responses to the serious difficulties of life and a career in law. Not that there isn’t true psychopathology, because there certainly is. But it is […]

A Parent’s Roller Coaster Ride into Recovery, Part 2

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This story is continued from the last edition of the State Bar Journal. Finally, the time came for Brian to leave the treatment center. The day we picked him up, my wife and I met with Brian and his counselor for a discharge conference. I have a vivid memory of two points from that meeting […]

A Parent’s Roller Coaster Ride into Recovery – Part 1

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My son is an addict. His addiction has had a profound impact on my life. Addiction—which includes alcoholism—is a disease, and it wreaks havoc on family members as well as the addict. Naturally, we seek and yearn first for the addict’s sobriety, and we want to do whatever we can to “fix” the addict. However, […]

When “Helping” Hurts—A Guide for Law Firms and Families, Part 2 

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The LAP recently conducted an interview with a managing partner of a firm who years ago orchestrated an intervention with a leading lawyer in the firm. This example illustrates how a law firm can proactively address an issue of impairment. The following is taken from that interview and told from the point of view of […]

An Enabler’s Story

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Years ago when I lived in another state and before I enrolled in law school I began dating a man who lived downstairs from me in my quadraplex. He was a very successful computer engineer. One day he was unexpectedly fired from his job. He downplayed the incident and obtained another job of equal stature […]

When “Helping” Hurts—A Guide for Law Firms and Families, Part 1

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Most lawyers, regardless of practice area, are accustomed to solving others’ problems and providing solutions. Lawyers are helpers by nature. While many of us may try to project a certain image, and despite whatever lawyer-joke-du-jour may be fashionable, most lawyers have big hearts and want to help people. It only makes sense that when a […]

A Year in the Life of a Lawyer Wife

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I am a wife. I am a lawyer. I am the wife of a lawyer. My father is a lawyer. My husband’s father is a lawyer. My first cousin on my mother’s side is a lawyer. If you have ever seen the movie My Cousin Vinny, you know where I am going here. Despite all […]

A Recovery Story: Alcoholism is a Family Disease

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I am a Double-Winner.   For the uninitiated, that means that I am a member of both Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon.  Al-Anon is for the friends and family of Alcoholics.   The focus of my story will be a little different than the kind of story you typically read.  These articles usually focus on how the disease of alcoholism, and subsequent […]

Alcoholism Is A Family Disease

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The Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea are supplied by the exact same water source. Water flows down from Mt. Hermon into the Sea of Galilee and then out of it to enrich and fertilize the Jordan plain.  Water also comes down from Mt. Hermon to form the Dead Sea, but it has no […]

Relationship Intensity Syndrome

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One of the great tragedies of alcoholism is the effect it has on so many others, particularly children.  Children growing up in an alcoholic family are apt to suffer from an alcohol induced relationship intensity syndrome.  Growing up in alcoholism, the child often develops an exaggerated need for emotional support in a primary relationship. The […]