Mindful Moment

Do you ever have one of those days at work when everything is going smoothly? You feel energized, relaxed, and productive. You are effective–taking care of business and feeling good. It is likely that on those days, your nervous system is regulated, such that you are at ease physically, mentally, and emotionally. When your nervous system naturally regulates, life feels really good.

What happens, however, when your nervous system is dysregulated such that you feel unproductive and out of sorts physically, mentally, and/or emotionally? In those moments, your nervous system needs your attention and support to help return to regulation so that you can once again think clearly and respond rather than react. This is the process of “self-regulation.”

Self-regulation is the ability to notice when your nervous system has shifted into an unnecessary stress response and intentionally engage a strategy to return yourself to a regulated state. Taking a moment to pause is the most effective way to notice what is happening in your nervous system, mind, and emotions. Neuroscience research shows that the brain is not designed to operate continuously at full speed; it requires moments of pause and reflection to function at its best.

One of my favorite ways to self-regulate using a mindful and purposeful pause follows this process:

1. Pause – to create space between the stressor and your response to the stressor: pausing keeps you from being swept away by your emotional response to the stressor.
2. Orient – to help your nervous system recognize that you are safe in the present moment: purposely orienting prevents your emotional response from escalating.
3. Choose – consciously engage your thinking brain so you can respond instead of reacting. Slowing down enough to choose self-regulation versus unconscious dysregulation calms emotional overwhelm.

What does this look like in practice?

1. Pause and notice the dysregulation: “I don’t feel right. My stomach is tight and I’m holding my breath. I’m ruminating and feeling frustrated about everything that could go wrong.”
2. Orient to safety at the moment: “I’m looking around my office and focusing on three things that remind me that right here, right now, I’m ok.”
3. Choose to get regulated: “I am aware that I have a choice to get regulated. Which tool can I use for the next 90 seconds that will help? How about five breaths with long exhales?”

Every purposeful pause strengthens your capacity for self-regulation, making it easier to remain steady the next time you encounter a stressor. Like any professional skill, self-regulation develops through repeated practice, building the neural pathways that allow you to choose a steady response over an unconscious emotional outburst. The next time you feel your stress response escalating, pause with purpose and notice what changes.

Laura Mahr is a North Carolina and Oregon attorney and the founder of Conscious Legal Minds LLC, dedicated to helping lawyers thrive in both their work and their lives. Drawing on Internal Family Systems (IFS), nervous system regulation, somatic inquiry, and mindfulness, she teaches evidence-based strategies to build resilience to stress, prevent burnout, and reduce the impact of vicarious trauma in the field of law. After recovering from professional burnout herself using these approaches, Laura has spent over a decade helping attorneys, judges, and legal professional staff to strengthen their well-being through her writing, trainings, CLE presentations, and one-on-one resilience coaching. She resides in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Asheville, North Carolina. If you would like to learn more about self-regulation for yourself or your legal team, contact Laura at www.consciouslegalminds.com