Let it Rain

To one degree or another, we all spend time wishing that circumstances or people’s behaviors were different. We want better weather, better jobs, more money, a healthier body, less traffic, or just about anything that isn’t exactly how we think it should be. We resist the present moment exactly as it presents itself. What if, instead of complaining about the present moment, we accepted it exactly as it is? Studies suggest that, by doing this, we can radically improve our emotional and mental well-being.

Accepting the present moment as it is does not mean that we do not do anything to change our circumstances, especially where there is harm or abuse. It simply means that we don’t argue with what is in the present moment, and we don’t resist the negative emotions that present circumstances evoke. Carl Jung once said, “What you resist persists.” When we resist or argue against circumstances, we prolong our suffering. We get stuck in feelings of anger and resentment. It is only after accepting and acknowledging the circumstances as they are, along with the pain evoked by the circumstances, that we can effect meaningful change.

When a circumstance that you perceive as negative arises, pause and notice it without judgment. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise. And do this without judgment. Sit with this. Ask yourself, “Is this really a negative experience?” If it is in fact a negative experience, explore the emotions that you are feeling with a sense of curiosity. What is it in your conditioning or your nature that makes you feel the way that you do? Then, have compassion for yourself. Do not judge yourself for feeling the way that you feel. Finally, do not get stuck in that emotion. Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor’s research shows that, “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there is a 90 second chemical process that happens; any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.” Let the emotion pass through you after it has been fully expressed. After doing this, you can then move toward change or you can decide to allow the circumstance to be exactly as it is. For a deeper dive into this practice, Tara Brach’s books Radical Compassion and Radical Acceptance offer insightful and practical methods for dealing with and processing negative circumstances and emotions in healthy ways.

But what about circumstances that are beyond our control. There is often nothing that we can do to change a circumstance. And yet we still argue against it. We argue against what is even when it cannot be changed. For example, the weather is what it is. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said, “For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” This seems so obvious, and yet most of us complain about the rain instead of just accepting it. Try this. The next time it is raining, step out into the rain and just notice the rain. Feel gratitude for what the rain gives. Notice how the rain feels when it hits your body. You will not melt and you might just have a new sense of appreciation for rainy days.

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