Guidance for Grieving

It is not unusual for a person to experience a tragic event—the loss of a loved one, a serious injury or sickness, getting fired, etc. All of these events cause grief. A grieving person is not thinking clearly for a period of time and shouldn’t be making big, important decisions.

Everyone grieves differently. There is no timetable to know when the thinking clears. But be very careful if you are the one grieving. Take a step back and look at your work product objectively. Are you doing a good job? Have you asked someone to look over your shoulder to check for errors? Do you have a trusted friend or family member you can call and talk frankly with? If not, get someone.

If the shoe is on the other foot and you are the one being asked to assist the grieving person, be all in. Assisting a grieving person in a personal manner (not work related) means just being there. Just go to them. Sit and let them talk. They want to talk. They want to share their memories of their lost loved one with you. They want to be emotional. Don’t judge. Don’t try to fix them. Just be an anchor for them in the storm. Let them know that your phone is always on, and you will be with them anytime they need you.

There is division in the grief field whether it is better to grieve in quiet or be distracted and stay busy. I can see the benefit of both. I think, at first, it’s best to reflect, quietly. Then, when it feels right, to begin doing things again. Then, maybe it’s a good time to get busy. Don’t miss the chance to learn from the event. Good luck.

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