Unpacking Overwhelm

For many of us, the pandemic has pushed our already stressed professional and personal lives into overwhelm. If you’ve been saying things like: “I’m so exhausted, I can’t think straight!” or “I’m so agitated, I’m barely sleeping at night;” or “My chest is so tight, I can’t take a deep breath,” you may be feeling overwhelmed yourself. I’ve heard more comments like these from lawyers and judges in the past few months than ever before.

Overwhelm occurs when we feel like the weight of our stressors overcomes us, and we don’t have the resources to get out from under them. When we experience overwhelm, we often have an overload of different emotions at the same time and have a hard time identifying what’s what. We feel physically uncomfortable and mentally and emotionally confused or stuck. Overwhelm makes it difficult to think straight and effectively handle our professional responsibilities: we may feel like EVERYTHING is a problem and NOTHING is going right. When experiencing overwhelm, we also tend to forget about the resources available to help us work through each of the things that is troubling us.

Unpacking the elements of overwhelm can help our nervous system move from a dysregulated anxious or collapsed place into a more regulated, calm place where we can handle one thing at a time. Here’s how:

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, pause. Take a few minutes to identify the following:

1. What are all of the emotions I’m feeling right now?
2. What exactly are the things that are challenging me in this moment?
3. What’s going well in this moment or with each of these challenges?
4. What resources do I have at my disposal that can help me get through this? (Resources may be internal, like a sense of humor, or external, like a quiet place to work or another person who can help).
5. What feels better, even in a little way, after identifying each of these things?

Try this for yourself the next time you feel overwhelmed, or try going through this series of questions with a friend, family member, colleague, or even a client when they are overwhelmed. Writing down your answers can help you slow down and track each one. If you don’t have something to write with, type it into a note on your phone, or answer them aloud or inside your head. If you know an empathetic listener, share your answers and ask them to repeat back to you what you said. I often do this exercise with my coaching clients when they express overwhelm. Every time, I am moved by how the client is able to shift out of overwhelm and into possibility in fairly short order. While you may need to repeat this process for particularly overwhelming situations, the more you practice, the easier and more natural it becomes.

Laura Mahr is a North Carolina and Oregon lawyer and the founder of Conscious Legal Minds LLC, providing well-being coaching, training, and consulting for attorneys and law offices nationwide. Her work is informed by 13 years of practice as a civil sexual assault attorney, 25 years as a student and teacher of mindfulness and yoga, a love of neurobiology, and a passion for resilience. Find out more about Laura’s coaching and training at consciouslegalminds.com.

If you would like to learn more about mindfulness and resilience in the practice of law, check out Laura’s online, on-demand CLEs: “Mindfulness for Lawyers: Building Resilience to Stress Using Mindfulness, Meditation, and Neuroscience” (1 hour or 4 hour courses)(approved for mental health and/or general CLE credits by the NC State Bar): consciouslegalminds.com/register.